Punished by Rewards

“Punished by Rewards” by Alfie Kohn is a provocative parenting and education book arguing that gold stars, grades, and other carrots and sticks actually undermine genuine motivation. Drawing on decades of research in psychology and workplace studies, Kohn explains why rewards and punishments can make kids less curious, less generous, and less willing to take risks. Instead, he encourages adults to focus on relationships, autonomy, and meaningful work, shifting from “doing to” children to “working with” them. Families use this book to rethink sticker charts and behavior systems and to design learning environments built on trust, collaboration, and intrinsic interest.